Friday, July 22, 2011

How To Attract Japanese Guys

Before I begin explicating about this, I want to clarify that I have done A LOT of research concerning this "issue". I've had a slight obsession with the Japanese culture since I was 13 years old, and from there I've built my knowledge to really understand the Japanese culture. No, I'm definitely no expert! These are just things I have come to learn through personal interest in the topic. Sorry for such a long elucidation, I just don't want anyone to attack and question my sources. I'm simply doing this to help you girls out! :)

These are FIVE qualities that attract a true JAPANESE guy. What I mean by true is, someone who has really grown up in the Japanese society. Of course, every guy is different and this doesn’t apply to every Japanese guy on the street.

1) SKIN: Clear, white, and flawless skin. Japanese guys will notice the skin right away. White beautiful skin is THE epitome of beauty in Japan. It's amazing how much attention and worship is put into a pale complexion. But why is white skin so sought after in Japan? It’s really what the white color represents. Innocence. Purity. Youth. Untainted. The quest to be forever young is never ending in Japan, and white skin reflects that pure youthful little girl.

2) PERSONALITY/ATTRIBUTES: Your personality has to be gracious, respectful, modest, slightly demure, innocent, friendly, approachable, sensitive, and MOST IMPORTANTLY SHY. All these qualities will make you appear as a “cute girl”, and being cute is the ultimate goal of girls in Japan. Now, the whole shyness thing works like this. Japanese express themselves through actions, not words. They will not confront you in any way about anything. Most romantic feelings are conveyed through shyness. It’s a natural display of emotion when we are in the presence of someone we like. In Japan though, the shyness is embraced! It is considered cute, and when you are shy, you are someone vulnerable who is easy to approach and talk to. Traditional Japanese guys are not used to outspoken, confident, and outgoing girls. This does not mean they aren’t attracted to them! It is just easier and less intimidating if the girl has a peaceful quiet presence about her that is predictable, making her not a frightening risk. The Japanese guy is already shy enough as it is compared to other races of men! You have to understand and adjust to his shyness.

3) APPEARANCE: Now, besides healthy skin, another quality that attracts Japanese guys is a well kept appearance. Clothes have to be clean, feminine, and non-revealing! Of course I believe everyone has their own personal style and should stick to it. It’s ridiculous that we should change our edge for frilly skirts just because they MIGHT find it a little more appealing. I don’t see them changing out of their shirts for us! Anyways, in all seriousness, they are attracted to the feminine look, but they definitely love a well put together look as well, whether it’s feminine or not. I think as long as it works on you, and you look effortlessly yourself, they will be attracted. Also, cleanliness (hygiene) is very important! You must have fresh, clean, & soft hair. If you wear make-up, it needs to look natural, and your clothes can’t have any stains!

4) PHYSIQUE/FEATURES: This is controversial because to place all Japanese men in the same category and “speak on their behalf” is very unfair and inaccurate of me! Everyone is different and obviously have different tastes, but I will still state what the general Japanese guy and society finds “ideal”. Japan is dangerously obsessed with being thin, and already has a large percentage of girls on the underweight side. They consider being thin very “cute” because it makes you, literally in this case, very FRAGILE. There is very little obesity when it comes to girls AND guys. This means there are a lot of THIN guys who will most likely want to be with someone smaller because it makes them manlier. We can’t judge them because we want guys bigger and stronger to make us more feminine.  One unusual feature that Japanese guys find attractive is a very skinny wrist.

Now, when it comes to height, there isn’t really an ideal height. A good portion of Japanese guys like tiny girls because it makes the girl “cute” while other guys love the tall supermodel type because their legs are skinny and long. It’s all down to personal preference. The same thing is with bust size. In Japan it is not focused on at all like for example in the West. So, when asking a Japanese guy to name his top three must have traits in a girl, bust size will almost never be on the list.
When it comes to the face, the most attractive features have always been round eyes, (No, NOT Western eyes, Just rounder eyes!) small lips, long lashes, and a well defined nose. The nose I’m not so sure about. I doubt it is paid any attention by guys, but in Japan they sell numerous products that are supposed to enhance the nose to make it less “flat”. This does prove that it has some beauty standards.

5) OTHER POINTERS AND FACTS: Japanese guys do not like strong scented perfumes. The most attractive scent is “just out of the shower” because it’s a subtle clean fragrance that doesn’t overwhelm him.  So ladies, avoid spraying on too much unless it’s very lightly scented.
Speaking of too strong, try to avoid strong flirting and be very subtle with your intentions. Because they are so shy, many sites recommend taking control and making the first move. This might work for some people, and might be considered very fresh and attractive by Japanese guys, but try the subtle way first. If you pounce on him first thing, and he doesn’t like it, it’ll be hard to take back. But, if you “shyly” get to know him and he finally notices you in a romantic way, things can only get better. If he doesn’t, then go on and pounce.

Japanese guys are said to be much more considerate of girls, and will insist on paying for things, carrying bags, and assuming most of the time that you cannot handle simple tasks. Let him. That is all I can say. In Japan, the man is above the woman and it is his JOB to do these things. Do not be offended if he doesn’t, and do not be offended if he does. If you are an avid manga reader, then I strongly suggest you do not take example from these. Although some of them have a grasp on relationships and so on in Japan, it will never be reality when they come from only one persons mind. Reality is much different. 

I have written more than I intended to, and I hope that I have helped in some way and given an insight to things you haven’t known before! If I have left anything out, I’ll make sure to post more about this and other things related.

Thank you for reading!
If anyone has their own opinion concerning “Attracting Japanese guys”, feel free to comment and share your thoughts!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. ;o Hehe it kinda worked for meh but i tink i used perfume so now im friend-zoned :L But Its Okeii, At least hes my friend ^_^

  4. Thank you!!! I have a japanese friend but we only talk over facebook as we are both so shy :I do you have any tips on how to start talking to him in person? Thank you so much xD

  5. Thank you!!! I have a japanese friend but we only talk over facebook as we are both so shy :I do you have any tips on how to start talking to him in person? Thank you so much xD

  6. Thank you!!! I have a japanese friend but we only talk over facebook as we are both so shy :I do you have any tips on how to start talking to him in person? Thank you so much xD

  7. Going to try this out, sucks because i'm tanned :\ but i do have very clear skin hehe, there is this japanese guy, I think he might be a couple years older than me, but hes so cute! I think it's time for me to say hello ^_^

    1. Im glad! Dont worry about being tanned.. Japan was obsessed with that at one point. :)

    2. Yes, that is so true.

  8. This has worked for me because so far I'm in a good relationship with a Japanese exchange student and when we were walking the other day he held my hand and he's been doing it ever since and you're right about the small wrists because he likes to grab me by the wrist a lot to pull me back.

  9. Hello this is good information to keep in mind because i am looking to find a Japanese partner and live in Japan, could you also mention what to do and what not to do once in Japan? I am visiting there in a couple years for 2 weeks and i would like to know how to get a gaze of 'Beautiful' and not a gaze of 'slutty' :)

    1. If you want to be perceived as beautiful and not slutty. First impressions are everything. Make sure what you are wearing is classy, and perhaps slightly formal? Then once people get to know you.. you can loosen back to your regular style without having anyone judging you. Refrain from talking about having too much experience in relationships. Follow as well most of the steps I listed in my post and you will be well on your way! Remember, asuming you are a foreigner, you are already instantly beautiful to them.

  10. I'm African American & mixed with etc & I love all asain guys I'm 14 and about to be 15 so do I have to be lighter for an asian guy? If so I don't mind. But I'm in the middle of being kawaii lol so I can try.

    1. You absolutely dont have to be lighter! They like JAPANESE girls being white. Foreign girls can be any color they want. They are instantly attracted to you because you look so different from japanese girls. :)

    2. Ehh really? Many girls from other countries arebtrying so hard to be pale white lol xD

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  12. Wow... thanks for the info. I surely didn't know that my skinny wrists are valuable assets to attract a Nihon no otoko (日本の男) :-)

  13. Thank you for this and all of the research and hard work you put behind it! It's really helpful and you have boosted my self esteem with it! Thank you thank you!

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  20. I totally have to disagree with the last part of your post.

    ''Japanese guys are said to be much more considerate of girls, and will insist on paying for things, carrying bags, and assuming most of the time that you cannot handle simple tasks. Let him. That is all I can say. In Japan, the man is above the woman and it is his JOB to do these things. ''

    First of all, if you talk with Japanese women, more than 80 % of them will tell you that Japanese men are totally clueless, self-centered, immature, inconsiderate, lazy, not courteous, and the thing that I've heard the most from all my students is that they are extremely weak. They can't decide anything, they can't do anything physically. Also, from my experience (I dated Japanese men and I'm married to one), they are like little kids.

    And, most men don't like skinny girls. Have you asked around ? They like girls who look healthy.

    1. Most Japanese guys really do like the skinny girls though...just look at practically all of Japan's female celebrities and icons, mostly all of them are just about thin as a rail. This is especially true of female idol which obviously tend to cater more to male fans. Guys don't really have a choice but to go for skinny girls especially since that's the image that is portrayed as desirable in the media. This is true for South Korea as well.

    2. I'm 65 pounds and have a Japanese boyfriend. We met when I was in 9th grade when I was an exchange student. His favorite thing to do is trace my ribs with his fingers, and I love it, so honestly, being skinny has its ups (Japanese people) and downs (very painful cramps)

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  35. Thank you! idk if the guy likes me, i guess japanese boys are hard to understand but i'll try my best!! anyways this boys is ages older then me , and he's rlly handsome..x how could i really know if he actually likes me thhe same way as i do?

  36. I like this guy, he's half Japanese half Aussie. He was born and raised in Japan but recently moved to Aussie. He kissed me at one party but I'm not sure whether that means anything to him or not. What do you think?

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  38. Thank you so much!
    Uhm, so I've been talking online with this japanese guy and he's nearly two years older than me. Since I'm very shy by default and short he tends to say im very cute. But Im afraid i might be friendzoned because not only am I chubby but i have some obvious scars and I've tanned this summer... what can I do (;O;)

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  40. Please delete this. If you aren't male and Japanese then you shouldn't even have an opinion.. you also shouldn't be telling others things that YOU think a Japanese guy would like in a girl. Not all Japanese guys do have this preference, in fact, they are all different and this MIGHT only apply to a few of them.
    Sources: I'm a half Japanese guy, with a father who is Japanese and grew up in Japan!! :)

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  42. Thank you...I am half japanese and half Puerto Rican and I never been to Japan I only know some words...I just consider myself as Puerto Rican because I don't know much about Japan but I an extremely interested in japanese men and I don't know what to do but the good thing I already am shy and feminine and clean have good traits but I am still confused
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  43. This isn't exactly true. They don't care about your skin and they're not all of the skinny girl type. This is really outdated

  44. My Japanese Bf is coming over from Japan in a few weeks and I am so nervous because 1 I am not very skinny and 2 I am afraid he may not like me anymore the good thing is I have all the personality traits that u suggested also he always calls me cute always and my nickname for him is cutie pie also do Japanese guys like British girls with fine blue eyes and blonde hair? also I nickname him Savage xD

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